Heh, so I realized today that I have less than two months left of school, and really it’s more like 5 weeks, assuming all goes well and I don’t muck anything up I’ll be saying good bye to university and hello to the great big unknown before I’ve had time to catch my breath. And honestly, I don’t wanna.
It’s not that I’m not ready to get on with my life, or metaphorically get my shit together, but rather that I find I’m much sadder at the prospect of leaving university then I thought I would be. Really I feel like I’m just now starting to make friends, and get the hang of how to balance and acceptable amount of having fun and passing all my classes.
That being said I feel like the transition period between school and ‘life’ is going to blow. Big time. I mean, I seriously don’t see to many people having fun out there and that prospect has me a little tiny bit freaking-the-fudge-out. There are so many issues I’m going to have to deal with that I’m not actually sure I’ll ever get through them, and every time I close my eyes I see a series of all the things that I have to do before I can ever even sort of manage to have “job security” or a “career”. For once in my life I think maybe my mother was right, I should have been an accountant.
But then there are days like today. Where I go to class and make new friends and realize that even if we never talk again after school ends, I’ll always have this moment. And where I hang out with friends who remind me that being social, doing good and creating change doesn’t have to be tied to school – you can stand on your own and do those things too. This is all a reminder that the world doesn’t have to be as big and scary as it seems.
All this said I’m not sure I’m ready to get my shit together, I’m not sure I’ll ever have it together. I mean, I want to be a writer – what hope can I ever really have of having it all together? – but maybe it’s important to remember that life isn’t just about the end result, it’s about the journey- the people you meet and the mess you make along the way.
Don’t be afraid to take your time to get your shit together.