Motherboards and Heels

So, remember over a year ago, when i was all like, I should start wearing dresses? And i had like, one dress?

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The one dress

Now i have more skirts then pants and a few summery dresses to. I’ve also build my own computer, which I’m currently typing at. it’s awesome and i love it. i haven’t officially named it yet, but I’ll get there.

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Look! heels too!
I started gaming – as you may see by the side panel YouTube feed over there. —->

I also wear lipstick.

Normally I’d try to make this long and drawn out. Some socio-political rant about the status of the underprivileged or rising housing costs in an urban environment, but today I’m all about the fun.

So come join me on my twitch, or hang out on YouTube. You can even tweet me, but I’m a little slow to respond.

I’ll post again soon, i promise.

Till later days,

Leah

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Lipstick! and a view of my computer

Dressing up.

Part of feeling good about yourself is also looking good. This weekend I went clothing shopping with a friend and I bought dresses. For those of you that don’t know me, you may think ‘no big deal’ but the truth is I’ve barely worn a dress in years that wasn’t being put on for a reason. That said I’ve come to realize that although I love a good pair of jeans or yoga pants, I also really love a cute little dress, and even more shocking for me, that I can wear these dresses for no particular reason. So, I bought a few more. I’ll update with some photos if I ever get around to taking them.

I suppose for the longest time I avoided dresses because I felt it separated me from the guys, and honestly I’ve never wanted to be seen as anything other than one of the guys. Now that I’m older, and spending more time with other women, I feel more free to look feminine and not have my credibility undermined. I suppose in a way this post has turned into a question of appearance and gender. I was raised mostly by my father and two brothers, so wearing a dress labeled me as ‘cute’. As long as I had on a skirt I wasn’t taken as seriously, I was the ‘princess’. So, as I aged I began to faze dresses, skirts and tights out of my wardrobe, until I only wore dresses while at weddings or walking across stages.

I’ve never realized how tied to my identity and gender my clothing choices had become. For the last few years I’ve always chosen clothing that made me feel attractive and comfortable. But I neglected to consider that they also let me display an assertive outward appearance, or maintain control over my femminity.

Well, now, I suppose I feel comfortable enough in my identity to not worry that I’ll be judged or taken less seriously if I put on a lacy dress.

What about you Raindrops, how tied to your identity are your clothing choices?

-Leah 

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Thrive under the written word

At what point did reading become a challenge to me? I used to love it, thrive under the written word. These days I can barely stay focused enough to read a book and it’s only if I’m willing to put something else off that a book will be read.

It’s sad and makes me sad that I can no longer find the focus to spend 20 minutes here or there reading if I’m not on a train or bus. I know I need to put effort into it, but then other things have to be neglected for me to accomplish some decent reading.  People often suggest audio books, and while I think they are a totally valid way of consuming the same material, I find I don’t have the patience for the slow movement of an audio book.

One of my goals so far has been to read more, I’ve done this by visiting the library more, taking out books that sound intresting and hoping that one of them will catch me. The truth is the last book that I seriously ploughed through was The Martian by Andy Weir, well done and captivating. I like to laugh and he accomplished that.

Well, here’s to trying to read more this year!
What are you currently reading Raidrops?

– Leah

Thrive under the written word

At what point did reading become a challenge to me? I used to love it, thrive under the written word. These days I can barely stay focused enough to read a book and it’s only if I’m willing to put something else off that a book will be read.

It’s sad and makes me sad that I can no longer find the focus to spend 20 minutes here or there reading if I’m not on a train or bus. I know I need to put effort into it, but then other things have to be neglected for me to accomplish some decent reading.  People often suggest audio books, and while I think they are a totally valid way of consuming the same material, I find I don’t have the patience for the slow movement of an audio book.

One of my goals so far has been to read more, I’ve done this by visiting the library more, taking out books that sound intresting and hoping that one of them will catch me. The truth is the last book that I seriously ploughed through was The Martian by Andy Weir, well done and captivating. I like to laugh and he accomplished that.

Well, here’s to trying to read more this year!
What are you currently reading Raidrops?

– Leah

Thrive under the written word

At what point did reading become a challenge to me? I used to love it, thrive under the written word. These days I can barely stay focused enough to read a book and it’s only if I’m willing to put something else off that a book will be read.

It’s sad and makes me sad that I can no longer find the focus to spend 20 minutes here or there reading if I’m not on a train or bus. I know I need to put effort into it, but then other things have to be neglected for me to accomplish some decent reading.  People often suggest audio books, and while I think they are a totally valid way of consuming the same material, I find I don’t have the patience for the slow movement of an audio book.

One of my goals so far has been to read more, I’ve done this by visiting the library more, taking out books that sound intresting and hoping that one of them will catch me. The truth is the last book that I seriously ploughed through was The Martian by Andy Weir, well done and captivating. I like to laugh and he accomplished that.

Well, here’s to trying to read more this year!
What are you currently reading Raidrops?

– Leah

Finding the time.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been actively trying to participate in the world. By that I mean  I’ve been trying to actually leave my house more on the weekend, spend time with friends and see the world. It’s super exhausting for someone who’s used to spending most nights curled up on the couch binge watching Netflix.

The main problems I’m encountering  are energy levels and money levels. Let’s face it, doing things cost money and time. Although this is not a problem in theory, it means either cutting out something else (to be able to a lot time and money here) or finding a way to make more (money, cause time you can’t make more of). So I’ve decided to do my best to cut out unnecessary spending during the week – this will exclude dinners out with friends/dates since sometime weekdays are the only days that work, and as for time, well it’s meant cutting back on my pop culture consumption. Yeah, I had to cut back on video games. It’s sorta breaking my heart.

So far, thanks to this new approach at life, I’ve gone out and done more in the last two weeks than I have in the past 6 months.

This is a good start, I’ll let you know how I feel about it next week when I’m tired on Monday morning and wishing I just had a day to be lazy.

In more site related news:  I’ve been able to set up auto updates, so that’ll make this much easier.

Till later Raindrops!
– Leah

Expectations

When I was younger – much , much younger – I had this image of who I would be when I turned 30. I planned on being the reclusive billionaire writer, idealistic at best a little farfetched at worst, but the dreams of a much younger woman non the less.

Suffice to say that I write only leisurely and am far from a recluse or a billionaire.

Last year, when I was on the precipice of turning 30  and not being anywhere near my goals, my expectations , I was pretty much freaking out. This was not who I thought I would be, or where I thought I would be in my life. This year, barely half a year later, I find I’m much less anxious about who I am. Maybe because it’s much easier to see that life doesn’t stop at 30 when your reach 30, or maybe because I’ve started to notice that many, many people only achieve their goals later in life. Regardless of all this, it’s given me motivation to work towards my goals instead of towards instant gratifications.

This is a new and hard concept for me. I’m not sure I like it much, but sometimes in order to work towards goals we have to be willing to give up things we’d rather not.

So far this hasn’t had the biggest impact on me, I’m typically able to juggle my time alright, though I admit I’m going to have to start focusing more on writing and set aside a dedicated time to do so – which means much less binge watched netflix.

I think the hard part will really be adjusting my expectations of who I am, and who I want to be. Although it’s great to set goals and dreams, I’ve decided I’m better if I make those goals fluid within time. So, the next few months I’m going to work on setting fluid goals, that may have a time line, but are not unreasonable.

What about you Raindrops? Any lowered expectations?

– Leah